Could you feel it coming? Since early in the morning I awoke, looking for Him. It was 4 am and its as if unconsciously knew I was going to have prepare for a battle. I knelt on the floor and prayed. I recited truth to myself. Repeated promises over and over.
“Never leave nor forsake”
“Hope & a Future, never to destroy”
“Renew strength… walk and not faint”
Every promise I have received, I repeated. I told myself of all the beautiful things I was grateful for, not knowing I was preparing myself for battle.
Got to the gym, turned on Bad Bunny and once the chorus hit I switched. It’s like a light bulb flashed and I told myself, “How about I listen to Steven Furtick, it’s been a while”. Not knowing I was preparing myself for battle.
In my car I sang praises, not knowing they would become the battle chants I would use to fight.
I walked towards what would later become my battlefield. Slowly my heart began to race. I felt my chest tightening. “Deep breaths Pris, deep breaths” I said in my head. I stood, trying to not let my legs shake. Keeping my heart controlled, in the face of my Goliath. He moved closer, yet I stood. He yelled, I stood. My chest is tighter, its getting harder to breath. Can I do this? Doubt begins to creep in. My legs shake, my voice that was singing power chants, cracks. I can’t catch my breath. I begin to retreat in fear and sorrow.
In that same moment of my presumed demise, I hear a voice say “Be still, I am here.” At the sound of that voice my breathing settles, my heart slows down. The winds and waves collapsing my legs seize, and I am again standing. My Goliath still in front of me, yet this time not like before. Now I stand on a rock, now I am not alone, but HE stands beside me.
See I thought I was “unconsciously” preparing for a battle, but it was Him along. And when I went out on the battlefield “alone”, and my strengths gave up He showed up and showed me I was not alone. He renewed me, and remind me that the battle was not mine but His.
Now, I shall see real victory...
Anxiety attacks suck. If you suffer of anxiety or are overwhelmed with stress find someone to talk to, and help you navigate through it. Please know you are not alone in the fight either, just like me, there is some there wanting to silence the racing thoughts, loosen your chest and help you breathe again. If you want to know more about "Him" or just need someone to hear you out, contact me.